Been There, Done That, More Please

It’s a hackneyed fantasy: a hot, dominant woman runs the office and the direct superior of a submissive guy. At some point, the guy fucks up and reports to be reprimanded. But instead of getting chewed out or fired, he receives a different kind of punishment.

In some versions of the story, the submissive is ‘the boss’ when the tables are turned. In others, he’s the model employee who is blackmailed and enslaved. The list goes on and on, but this kind of narrative seems to be even more prevalent in a time when many folks toil in some kind of workplace more hours than they’re home.

But what if it happened in real life?

I suppose, depending on the circumstances, it might be hot, terrifying, or traumatizing. But I got to thinking about a more-realistic version of this on-the-job dynamic, and how it happened to me. (more…)

Weapon of Choice

“You can’t wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.” ~ Jack London

I just haven’t been feeling it this last week. When I sit down to write, there are no images, emotions, or ideas compelling me to work. Nothing. Nada. Nunco. Knowing ideas are a writer’s cheapest commodity, it’s been frustrating.

Because I’m certain there’s no such thing as writer’s block, this is as temporary as it is annoying. This too shall pass.  But to hurry things along, I’ve developed rituals and exercises to get the creative lubricant moving. (Why the’re not effective at the moment is anther story.)

But I’m curious: what do you do?

What do you do when your writing is stale and stalled out? When you decide to go Jack London on a piece, and go hunting for inspiration, do you have a “go-to club” that gets the job done?

Mine’s usually music.

What’s yours?

My Sissy Problem

Hi, my name is Polthus Xander, and I’m a recovering ass hat.

(All together now) Hi Polthus.

It’s been ten years since I was a complete asshat to a sissy. But I’m not here for a key chain or anything that celebrates my lack of asshat behavior. Because only a douche would want an award for not being a dick.  Instead, I came here this evening to speak to those who continue to struggle with asshattary.  To those of you still coming to grips with this complex , I just want to say, hey, man…you can do it. You’re better than this. But the–

Huh? Oh,…speak louder. Of course…

But the first step is always the hardest. First you need to acknowledge that your head is up – and I mean way up – inside your ass.

When I was a young man, close contact with sissies made my skin crawl. When one hung out or tried to get chummy, invariably, I’d be an intolerant, abusive prick. But it wasn’t until quite recently that I began thinking through what brought this behavior about and why it changed.

At the time, I only came into contact with sissies at nightclubs and the occasional private party. This was in the mid-eighties, when I made my bones with package runs to locations most of my ‘associates’ couldn’t stand – gay bars. Underage and hungry to get over, these clubs were an oasis. Why? Because unlike many of my other customers, patrons of gay bars never tried to rip me off or kill me. And it was gay clubs where fetish events were often held. (more…)

Elust 93

aurora glory header elust 93
Photo courtesy of Aurora Glory

Welcome to Elust 93

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #94 Start with the rules, come back May 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

A dress to die for

Pushing Past


~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

Kink lite, Kink life

~Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

The Contract (more…)

Tribute Part III -Moments, Memories, and Ever After

This series of entries celebrates V and thinks through lessons learned and ways I matured while in service to her. However, tracking these developments has been a challenge as most lessons were subtle while growth occurred in ways I’ve yet to process. So it’s likely I’ll return to add moments and thoughts to one or all of these posts.

In this final installment, I’ll recount a few significant moments that helped define who V is to me and serve to illustrate why I value our connection.

The Winter Visit
I got a chance to spend three days with V in the dead-of-winter with Christmas about a week away. I’d give up a considerable chunk of flesh to get that kind of time with her again. If that’s meant to be, it will be some time from the present. But, the first thing I would say is she was always the one who traveled. (more…)

Tribute Part II – Identity and Loyalty

I’ve been involved in BDSM since I was fifteen and showed submissive and masochistic tendencies long before that. I’m in my forties now. It wasn’t until about seven years ago that I began truly ‘accepting’ this is a large part of who I am. And it wasn’t until much more recently that I learned to value myself as well as take pride in my traits as a submissive. V was a large part of this lesson and my growth.

But just to be clear, I don’t believe identifying as submissive defines me as a human being. Instead – I see it as one important piece of my psyche that I’ve invested time and energy into developing because I enjoy that role in a D/s dynamic: it makes me happy. However, there was a period of my life when everything I just articulated was either alien or unknown to me. (more…)


Bow down and worship

This is a tribute to my former Dominant. If you know V, then you’ll understand all the gushing and use of superlatives. If you don’t know her or haven’t read her blog, that’s an oversight to be corrected. Regardless of my obvious bias, having been her collared boy, this neither undermines nor invalidate the praise. To the contrary, mine is informed praise.

I’ve been meaning to write a variation of this piece for a long time. In fact, I pondered doing so at least six months before V released me from her collar. While I’ve mentioned her numerous times – included snippets of private notes, conversations, and images of our time together – I’ve never written a post enumerating just how much I learned and thrived while in her service. Accomplishing this in the span of one post is nearly impossible, so there are likely to be more. Regardless, these words are long overdue.

Why am I writing this now? Why not earlier?

Why, because… (more…)