I adore the sound of her voice.
V’s default personality is enthusiastic, confident, cheerful, irreverent, and mischievous. She’s quick to laugh, slow to anger, and yet possesses a hard stare which commands respect.
She’s as soft as silk yet strong as steel.
I could go on and on about the traits I admire in V, (and prolly will at some point) but last night it was her tone of voice that made me flushed and weak.
The first time I heard her voice, it threw me off balance. The way she laughs, giggles, and is comfortable in her own skin shines through. Regardless of the topic, BDSM or otherwise, V maintains the same delighted tone when entertained.
When someone’s smiling, you can hear it, and the fact she smiles a lot when discussing dark and twisted things is endearing.
What does she sound like when angry? Thankfully, I’ve yet to piss V off, so I don’t know what anger or annoyance sound like when directed at me. Sure I’ve spoken to her when she’s upset with others, but that hardly counts. However, I strongly doubt she’s one to constantly bark or be shrill.
Why bother stomping your feet when you can smack a bitch?
But she’s very much a Dominant. The minute I give up a scrap of control, she pockets it and then, grinning, puts her hand back out. Think V’s likely to give it back? If so, you’re deluded. So I take pains to remember my place relative to her and her expectations. And make no mistake, V doesn’t ‘want’ me to lean on her, she expects it.
She’s been patient thus far – incredibly patient – but I know her expectations will shift as the dynamic evolves. At some point, my concept of compliance will look, sound, and feel completely different than it does now.
That’ll happen when it happens. All this boy knows for sure is the more I feel V’S comfort with command, and can see she’s both happy and capable to handle both me and whateverthefuckelse is at hand, the more control I’m eager to give her.
And while I haven’t yet heard anger in her voice, I’m quite familiar with what she sounds like when feeling possessive or protective. That’s when I see a glimmer of steel.
For example – yesterday was brutally stressful, and I was agonizing over deadlines and somewhat distressed when I reached her. Hearing it in my voice, the first thing she asked was, “what’s wrong?”
I hesitated and fumbled a bit in answering. Why? Because I was trying to think of the best way to reply without dumping a long, mundane list on her or lying by omission. V knows me and knows how I’ll overthink things to death in order not to be manipulative. She also knows how to get me to stop thinking and give it up.
Once I paused to go onto my mental-gymnastic’s routine, she interrupted with a one-word question:
The way she asked was as possessive as it was protective. It was direct and brooked no disobedience. There was no tired, ‘what now?’ vibe or anything kin to condescension. That one word, and the way she said it, communicated immeasurable volumes.
That she can get so much across with her tone of voice makes me weak, achy, eager to please and obey – all at the same time. It’s an intense rush of submission I only feel for my Dominant. Her strength, hunger for control, and capability of handling what’s surrendered makes this boy melt every time.