Fantasy Vs. Reality

Always sore – your cock will be pierced and caged, your hole plugged and stretched, and both will always be slightly sore. Your body will be shaved and waxed, and the day collar will only be removed on rare occasions. More often than not, your flesh will be welted and marked. After a while, you won’t be able to remember what it was like to live any other way.

Readers of this blog already know I’m a greedy slut. That I self-identify as such is right up there in the tagline, but the proofs in the prose.

Well – that’s not true. Actually, the proofs in my thoughts and actions, so you kind of have to take my word for it. Any doubters out there? Didn’t think so.

But I’m getting side tracked.

While I’ve been involved in heavy BDSM and lifestyle D/s relationships, none of them come remotely close to the depth V wants to go. Even Reale, my first Dominant, never took me as deep as the next destination.

Although I do my best to keep doubts and concerns at bay, the truth is I’m not sure how I’ll handle it. Oh, I know how I’ll handle a week or even a month of this kind of intensity, it’s the long haul of things that’s unclear. I mean, there’s being good, obedient, and used hard regularly – without a safe word – and then there’s the same thing only months at a time.

Of course, all of this is pure conjecture until it’s not. And, as always, the simple fact that V’s experienced, rational, and has my best interests at heart keep this boy from freaking out. Also, while she’ll most certainly push me when she’s good n’ ready, I also know V to be cautious and pragmatic when it comes to fantasy versus reality.

V possessing these traits is crucial because in the short run, I can be extremely self-destructive. As for the long run? Well, I’m pretty fucking sure she’ll take her time figuring me out before the ‘real push’ begins. I’m also quite sure I don’t know what this push will look or feel like: speculating about such moments is how suckers occupy their time.

Still, having lived on the planet for a few years, I’ve had my share of experiences where the reality of things was far removed from what I imagined. Does that mean I want all we’ve discussed any less? How about less intensive or immersive? – Hell fucking no!

It just means I’m not mistaking a marathon for a sprint.

There’s an interesting twist to that last metaphor, but I’m not quite sure how to articulate it. Ah well, another topic for another time.

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