Unless my Dominant gives me permission to do otherwise, I’m expected to have my narrow ass in bed by a certain time. If V’s home, chances are she’ll insist on tucking me in.
After a while, It all becomes a kind of ritual, but it’s certainly not routine.
If the idea of an individual having control over ‘little things’ such as when and how you go to sleep doesn’t turn you on, then you probably wouldn’t enjoy a total power exchange (TPE) dynamic in your relationship. The fact that the words ‘total’ and ‘power’ are in the name TPE can lead people to misunderstand how a relationship like this works. A better name might be ‘Selective Power’ as that’s what’s really going on. Simply put, a dominant decides which aspects of daily life they have control over, and then rules are established and adhered to.
Of course, ‘Selective Power’ doesn’t sound near as sexy as ‘Total Power,’ so I don’t think the moniker will be changed anytime soon.
Obviously, a Domme having this kind of power is a complete turn on for me, but the ‘why’ of its appeal might be puzzling to some readers. I mean, compared to not being allowed to wear clothing in private, having an enforced bedtime sounds trivial, right?
Wrong – each rule is significant and ‘somewhat’ arbitrary.
Allow me to explain: giving up small and relatively insignificant decisions to your dominant is meant to work toward a much deeper and heavier D/s dynamic.
She might prefer I sleep bound and plugged, or have me sleep curled up at the foot of her bed. She may decide to have me sleep in a locked cage. She might even decide to wake me up an hour after I’ve drifted off to play Monopoly, lick her to orgasm, or both.
“You owe me 2,000 bucks rent, boy…But we could come to some kind of arrangement…”
All joking aside, those decisions are hers, not mine. I don’t have to like them – or even pretend to like them – I just have to do as I’m told.
Will she listen if I have serious reservations about her decisions? – Yes.
Will my fears and/or rational concerns be taken into account? – Yes.
She’ll listen, but unless I can see a clear and present danger to my physical safety or mental health that warrants disobedience, V’s decision’s are final.
It’s that simple.
Among other traits, V’s an experienced and extremely ‘reasonable’ Dominant who possesses high standards for own her behavior as well as a tremendous amount of concern for a submissive’s well-being.
Some of these points came up in an earlier post regarding my dislike of safe words, but they bear repeating. Because if V didn’t possess these traits, I’d never entertain the idea of working toward a TPE dynamic. It takes a long time, a lot of discussions, experiences, and then more discussions to truly go deep.
But it’s V who consistently says the words ‘working toward’ TPE. The fact she does so consistently means I’m in good hands. In fact, her hands are so good, the idea of them shooing me off to bed, tucking me in, or binding, hurting, and fucking me senseless make this boy eager to be under her thumb and in total control.