Unlike many of my socially liberal brethren, I wasn’t devastated when Trump was elected to be the forty-fifth president of the United States. However, it certainly came as a surprise. After all, I had formally endorsed the Clinton campaign back in June. How could she lose?
As it turns out, easily…
Unlike one guy in the UK, If I’d placed bets on the election, I’d be out of pocket to the sum of flat-fucking-broke. But I’m not alone as there was an overwhelming amount of confirmation bias out there to support such wrongheaded predictions.
My favorite headline from the campaign season read: Admit it, Dems: Hillary Could Strangle a Puppy on Live TV, and You’d Still Back Her. After a chuckle, I nodded sagely and thought, “no brainer.” Given the choice between the devil you know and a spray-tanned Reality TV star, who the fuck’s going to choose the lever marked, Pull Down for the Clown?
Answer: half of America.
But I’m getting ahead of the narrative. As October neared, I salted the popcorn and waited for the surprises to roll in. But there was one voice of dissent that gave me pause.
Professor Allan J. Lichtman has a system which correctly predicted the winner of the popular vote in every U.S. presidential election since 1984 – except for this one. (He whiffs on the prediction, but Trump still wins!?) Lichtman’s one of the most disinterested, laser-focused-on-data political minds out there. The fact he remained steadfast in his prediction Trump would win spooked me for a nanosecond. Then the ‘pussy grabbing’ tape broke.
Watching that play out over the news cycle, I became convinced Hillary could strangle – and then eat – a puppy on TV and still be elected.
Wrong again, and now here we are…
In all honesty, I’m far too cynical about politics to much care if a major party candidate wins or loses.. And the issues I’m invested in weren’t on the ‘to-do’ list of a single candidate who stood a chance of winning. But I do pause to wonder what Trump’s election will mean for social issues. Strangely enough, the more I think about it, the less concerned about Trump I am.
Mike Pence, however, is a nightmare.
Frankly, Mike ‘homosexuality’s a curable disease’ Pence being one heartbeat away from the presidency is a bigger threat to my queer brothers and sisters than a populist like Trump. Because the system moves slowly by design, and even though the GOP holds both the house and the senate, those blue dogs can still filibuster as necessary right? Well, see a funny thing happened….
If asked to rate their regret over repeated use of the ‘nuclear option’ on a scale of 1 to 10, I’m guessing most congressional Dems would rip the knob off.
Well, a cold-hand reach around beats none at all, and Trump is going to make for some laugh-out-loud headlines over the years. It’s an indisputable fact that Social conservatives in power cause a tremendous upsurge in underground angst, so more than one career is preparing for liftoff. I sit here wondering where the next Bill Hicks or Jo Brand is practicing punch lines this very moment?
Ugh…it’s not working….and Hunter S Thompson rolls in his grave.
I’m sorry, Mike Pence this close to the Iron Throne is creeping me the fuck out. It’s killing the vibe. Listen up, Mrs. or Mr. underground-artistic-sensation, whoever and wherever you are, you damn well better make the takedown phenomenal. Because these two clowns are whipping the fear and loathing into froth.
Those of us who fly the freak flag high, we’re looking for a hero.