Confidence: Sexy and Essential

What’s Not to Love? – (3) – On Self Assurance

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that an experienced Domme in full possession of herself, is never in want of a sub. ~ With apologies to Ms. Austen

Confidence is sexy. While that’s hardly a contentious statement, articulating the exact reasons self-assurance is alluring seems worthy of a separate post. Luckily, Domina Jen’s written an amazing piece on confidence, self image, and sex appeal. While Jen’s piece is more about body image, it still speaks to the point and worth reading. Also for the record, in addition to being absolutely gorgeous, Ma’am’s every bit as confident as she sounds and incredibly sexy… Just saying.

But for dominants, a measure of confidence isn’t just attractive; it’s necessary.

Let me stress the term ‘measure’ as there’s a spectrum of personalities and abilities and we work with what we have. That said, those riddled with insecurity often second guess their decisions and feel uncomfortable taking control. Therefore, a  person who’s chronically insecure never really ‘owns’ authentic control of themselves much less anyone else. In contrast, the dominants I’ve come to respect know where they possess a voice of authority and where they do not. That is to say, the confidence I’m talking about is informed confidence. Because only experience and integrity imbues someone with the authentic self-assurance that commands respect.

Of course, the appearance of confidence could be a mask for inexperience, malignant narcissism, sheer stupidity or a number of other undesirable traits, but the fact poseuses and poseurs walk among us isn’t cause for concern. Why? Because you’ll take your time getting to know a Domme, learning who they are before giving up any real measure of control. This will mark you as intelligent, aware of your value, and, with luck,  you’ll be claimed by the right person.

After all, if you’re self-assured as a submissive – what’s not to love?


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