Revving In Neutral

Sometimes I fall into a vicious cycle where I’m mentally and emotionally frustrated and cannot manage to channel that energy into productive avenues. In the old days, this would lead to drinking or drugs, but I don’t do that anymore. Instead, I try to go about my day, generally fail to complete mundane tasks and end up feeling ‘stuck’ – this progresses into a cycle of mild depression, feelings of inertia, guilt over said inertia, and then on and on it goes until something snaps me out of it.

It feels like I’m seated in a car stuck in neutral yet compelled to rev the engine until it screams.

I’ve talked about effects of this before, as it’s almost always linked to sexual frustration. Circumstances do not excuse avoidable behavior, so I really do need to figure out strategies for snapping out of the cycle. And what makes the need for such strategies more pressing is this: without the masking effect of booze or some kind of euphoria binge, this cycle and the resulting spiral seem to become more acute with each occurrence.

I’m going to do some reading on the subject and think it through. However, if any of you have experienced similar patterns and come up with effective ways to avoid them, please share.


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