I’ve met and befriended a Fledgling Domme local to me. Since moving, this is the first local D type I’ve engaged with.
She’s a nerdy, Type A, professional gal, who’s delightfully neurotic and wonderfully naive about all things BDSM. I enjoy hanging out with her. Mostly because we have zero chemistry outside the ‘friend zone.’
I met her a few weeks ago for lunch and today for a quick after-work bite.
She asked if I would attend a munch or event with her.
“That’s not a good idea.”
“Because even on my best behavior, there’s no way I can fake interest…or worse, hide my contempt. You’d feel me mentally rolling my eyes and being a judgy, jaded prick. Frankly, I don’t want to be a buzzkill.”
And this is what will happen. I do not want to be the annoyed guy popping balloons just as she’s starting to explore the party.
Am I saying I’d never be able to behave myself at an event? No, of course, I’d behave myself if brought as a collared boy. (Not saying I’d forgo whining and grousing a bit later, but I would be invested in making it a pleasant evening.)
But I digress…and I digress…and I digress…
Right now, I feel like I’m simultaneously in a really good mental place while remaining emotionally numb.
A late lunch is pleasant enough with Fledgling Domme who likes to talk books, commiserate about work politics, and tell me what to do.
She’s as cute as she is harmless, a pleasant distraction, but I sometimes wonder if I’m going to be numb from the heart down forever.
Then I glanced at a certain email account for the first time in days to find a brief note from a Dominant checking on me. Just a few words, but the right words made this boy flush red and glow for a bit…
Maybe not – completely – numb after all…