Took Fledgling Domme out again on Friday night. It was a nice meal and some interesting conversation. A friendly ‘date’ that went well enough, but I’m going to avoid seeing her for a few weeks.
Why? Because she’s started to get the wrong idea…
I’ve been nothing but honest with her from the beginning. I’m not one for casual play and had placed her inside the ‘friend zone’ within the first few minutes. I told her as much in kind yet unequivocal terms; however, all to often, people hear what they want to hear…
It’s really quite tedious, and this is why I’m so fucking leery of local events.
On one hand, I enjoy the attention. Being that I’m easy on the eyes, polite, and genuinely submissive makes me an outlier at most munches. The resulting interactions are a nice little boost for a boy’s self-esteem, and there is that one-in-a-million chance that I will meet my next dominant.
On the other hand, narcissists and emotional cripples who shroud themselves in the trappings of dominance abound. This boy is wary, has no desire to waste time, and finds interacting with such people to be exhausting.
Anyway, Fledgling Domme and I cleared up our misunderstanding with minimal drama, but that didn’t stop her from asking pointed follow-up questions.
“I’m curious to know, what you are looking for? Do you even know?”
“Yes, I know.”
“I want my next dominant to be my last dominant.”
Unsurprisingly, she was incredulous. Not that I expected her to “get it.” Fledgling Domme is a decent human being who happens to be incredibly inexperienced. Not just in D/s but in life. She has no idea of the emotional wringers I have been through or what kind of standards I have for myself or others.
I’ve told her, but it just doesn’t compute.
But let’s be real: just because I aim for my next collar to be my last doesn’t mean I’ll be successful. At this point, an abundance of caution just feels right.
Because the next time it clicks – I’m going all in.
Until then, I’d rather be lonely.